Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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