hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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