Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
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