i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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