Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
