Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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