Barsexuality is the new black.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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