You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
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