That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
