My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
