dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
