she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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