I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Randomize
