I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
