I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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