Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
