I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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