i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
