Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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