I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that đ I went with "no"
Liz Cheney wasnât exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying âYAS QUEENâ for in 2021 but here we are
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