Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So squirting runs in the family.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
