Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
