You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
