Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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