Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
