Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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