Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize