we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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