well you can't waste a boner
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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