I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
