this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
