Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
soo... how was my night?
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