From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
