My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize