He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
