every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
