We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
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maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
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I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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