Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize