That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
