She went from zero to smokin in five shots
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
