If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
