There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
