they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
