and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
