I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
