i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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