Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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