Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
