Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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