Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
