He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Randomize
