let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
