dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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