Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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