its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
