what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
