I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize