We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
