Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
