I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
