my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
