Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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