she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
