Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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