it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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