Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I woke up under a house in Key West
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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