the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
When did angry sex become our thing?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
